Late night - early morning
I'm having those odd nights when I wake up from a dream and can't get back to sleep.
Maybe it is the contents of the dream, I don't know. More likely I've mis-programmed the alarm clock in my circadian rhythm, and it goes off at 3:35 AM. Sleeping during the day doesn't help any.
I'll spend anywhere from a half-hour to forty-five minutes pretending that I'm going to go back to sleep, before I get up and come to the computer. I check e-mail, which at this hour is usually SPAM which gets nicely shunted to my junk box (thank you Netscape people!). I check a few blogs. I yawn (ohh! can I get to sleep now? noooo...). Usually I run across a good blog, like this one.
Every year the price of propane goes up. Every year the thermostat gets set a few degrees colder. At night when I'm supposed to be sleeping it goes even lower, courtesy of one of those fancy programmable thermostats. As a result, my personal comfort zone keeps dropping. If this keeps up I'll be sweating in a speedo at the North Pole.
It's the last day of February. That stretch of warm weather at the beginning had me thinking spring was near, but the month has ended with single-digit temps. Though my mind keeps telling me, "It's still winter, after all" my body keeps saying, "No, no, it's almost over! Just one last cold snap! Just, just...ah hell."
I found myself today searching the web for retreats that deal with chronic pain. I feel stalled in my progress and my practice. Though I know it is all about being right here, right now, I feel I could be using the present moment in a wiser fashion. I guess this is true of most everyone, it's just that I've got a lot more free time to dwell on it. So, I've been thinking a retreat might give me a good kick-start.
(It's kind of silly in a way, because virtually every day I'm already on a retreat of sorts. Maybe I just need the structure of people telling me what to do.)
Music in my head: Brahms' First Piano Concerto